what is beautiful

I feel like taking calculus has caused to to miss out on a lot of beauty, on a lot of art, and on creating a lot of things. Like it has drained me of creativeness...which it hasn't, but I just haven't been able to capitalize on anything creative lately. I have so many projects in my mind just waiting to be creative, I want to take pictures, I have missed connecting with people face to face. I have missed spares spent sipping iced tea and telling all. I feel that this course has encapsulated the entirety of my last semester of grade twelve, and, to some extent, I regret it. I'm sure I won't in the future, when I don't have to do it then, but right now I do. I wish I had done some stuff, no I wish I had done a lot of things differently in the past four months.

I have been craving a Stars concert as of late, and found out today they're coming on June 20. I am beyond excitement, but can't for surely go yet. I need to find out my work schedule first. Poop on work. It's so repressive. (?) I don't know if that makes sense... They just make me feel like everything is going to be ok. Listening to their music is like....I don't know, it's like listening to love. or the wind. or God even. It makes me feel like I can be a better person, like someone out there believes in me. It makes me feel powerful...not, like, evil powerful, but like I can make change happen. Their music strengthens my soul, and it sometimes feels like it is a part of me I've never met. It is amazing.