lactose intolerance

BAH. I am seriously delayed. I have no idea what I want and then I act rashly and make decisions about my life. I haven't a clue how to live 'free' and just let things go. I want to be in control, so I don't make myself vulnerable. Or maybe I just care too much, if I'm confused, they must not be, so I don't want to mix them up and make their heart hurt and mixed up. Maybe I think about others when really all I want is to start making decisions that I think are right when I look at the big picture. Or maybe it's the other way around. SHIT.