sore eyes

"I dream of giving birth to a child who will ask 'Mother, what was war?' "
-Eve Merriam

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full of tea...

tell me what you think tell me what you feel
is this a fake or is it for real
is it what you hoped for what you dreamed
is it something strange that you've never seen

does it lift you up closer to the light
does it send you raging into the night
where did it begin will it ever end
where the sun sets and the river bends

where the river bends is a place i've been
water's not as blue and the grass well it ain't so green
the current gets strong it can pull you down
you gotta swim hard if you want to turn around

but I don't want to go there baby not with you
I'm happy right here now I got a love that's true
so let's stay a while and invite our friends
no one needs to go where the river bends

no no no
no no no
no no no

I don't want to go there baby ever again
I'm going to be with you right here till the very end
so let's stay forever and ever and ever amen
no one needs to go where the river bends

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also: reflection on the past year.

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hydrocortisone cream

Things to write about...soon.

the outside influences that affect my decisions...my inner being, and my inner decisions. why do I care so much what people think?

bravery...

How I am lost in my own way. How one can be lost, even on a clearly marked, well trodden path. (Is this where I want to be?)

some other stuff I don't remember right now.

so tell me darling do you wish we'd fall in love? all the time. all the time.
*owl city

one of these days, you'll miss your train and come stay with me. we'll have drinks and talk about things and any excuse to stay awake with. you'll sleep here and i'll sleep there. but then the heating may be down again, at my convenience. we'd be good, we'd be great together.

say goodnight and go.
*imogen

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a silver ring gone bronze. catalysts. a hybrid. an alloy.

Easy conversations, there's no such thing
Your scent lingers on my clothes
Do exactly as I do
Lean your shoulders forward
If I did you would

Look into my eyes
And speak to me without words
Take a look at me

That night
When we shot porn stars
On the essence of my being
Dance, dance, dance
un
deux
trois
quatre
cinq
six a hundred times is fine
The uncovered mattress holds
The unspoken words between
Us

Oh keep me on your mind
You'll be the rhythm and I'll be the beat
You'll be the rhythm and I'll be the beat

You turned to me in the morning
Slowly, painfully
Relaying the message
Do exactly as I do

The moonlight in your bedroom illuminated
Our white bodies
but when I trip on my feet
We shed our skin
Like ghosts
Look at the beat
The way the sunshine leaves its mark
On my pigment-deprived skin
In case you would come walking
In case you change your mind
Move in and out of this world

Love in a symphony
Clothed in sweat
And lust
So keep me, keep it open
Everyone notices
I'm shy, shy, shy
Having troubles telling how I feel

I don't love you
Because if I did
We wouldn't be doing this

Let your heart meet mine

The words are, follow these instructions
Move your body closer
Words can never make up for what you do

Don't break yourself for me
Don't lose your selfish ways for me
I sleep with windows open
The words are written in the air
I sleep with eyes wide
Love is the harmony
Desire is the key
Love is the melody
Now wing it with me

I was a dancer all along
For you I go all blind
Keep on flunking out
Keep me wanting more
Look at the ground
The words are, written in the dust
Love, Love is the shoreline were you and I meet
And ocean breeze once whispered

In my ear to forget

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I still love milk chocolate

I wish I was brave and had as much love inside me as I imagine I do. Then maybe we could have parted the way I would have really liked. As I thought about you going to bed alone in the dark, I wish I would have come back and kissed you and told you that I would always love you too and that you would have been brave, and held me. But as I went to bed all I could think about was how you had hurt me, and that I wasn't sure my heart was ready to be dropped, yet again, and that I should really get to bed because I worked early...I guess I have more practicality and hardness inside me than I would like to imagine. I can't seem to decide if the happiness that comes with being free is worth the pain.

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my new day planner

The Land of Opportunity is a state of mind.

It is an openness to new ideas,
a willingness to listen,
an eagerness to learn,
a desire to g r o w,
and the flexibility to change.

It is where we live and work when we choose to see with new eyes,
live from our hearts,
allow ourselves and others to be who we truly are;
ourselves.

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